Ooh.... Frustration
So not only have I been frustrated near to the end of my whits, and the only thing to calm me down so far is Norah Jones and Josh Groban. I'm frustrated with being here right now and not being able to go anywhere for Spring Break.
My mommy will be going to California some time tomorrow.
Without me...
I'm frustrated with Myself, school, definately my teachers, but I'm just frustrated with myself...
And being alone
I'm hearing all these wonderful love songs and I have no one to share them with
"Do you remember when we were just kids
And cardboard boxes took us miles from what we would miss
Schoolyard conversations taken to heart
And laughter took the place of everything we knew we were not
I wanna break every clock
The hands of time could never move again
We could stay in this moment (stay in this moment)
For the rest of our lives
Is it over now hey,
is it over now
I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you'll ever have
I wanna be your last, first kiss
Amazing how life turns out the way that it does
We end up hurting the ones, the only ones we really love
I wanna break every clock
The hands of time could never move again
We could stay in this moment (stay in this moment)
For the rest of our lives
Is it over now hey,
is it over now
I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you'll ever have
I wanna be your last, first kiss
Is it over now hey, it's over now
Is it over how hey,
it's not over nowI wanna be your last, first kiss
That you'll ever have (that you'll ever have)
I wanna be your last, first love (that you'll ever have)
Till you're lying here beside me with arms and eyes open wide
I wanna be your last, first kiss for all time"
I would love to share this with someone...
Yet for some reason I always pick the wrong ones to share myself with
I always put my heart ahead of sensiblity, and get it broken
It's been broken too many times.
I'm tired of being hurt and hurting myself.
I no longer inflict physical pain to myself, I haven't since November, which is good for me.
It seems like I've replaced it with emotional pain,
Putting myself in situations which I regret and hurting myself by trusting the untrustworthy...
I've made many mistakes,
And know what I need to change, so I've been trying
I just want to be as close to God as I had been, but I can't go to youth group right now and I don't feel as spiritual as I wish I was.
God is my everything, but am I not here for Him?
Am I?
If I'm not close to Him it must be my fault.
Just another disappointment to myself.
But I'm looking past that because God loves me, and that I know
I need to show myself that respect, and make good choices.
I might be attending a benifit to help a cause I want to be a part of
Wish me luck!
posted by Courtney @ 6:10 AM
1 Comments:
For the last time (unless you need to hear it again):
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
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