The Silence

Oh the wonders of school never cease to dampen high spirits....

Yeah so basically I feel allergic to school. Not the work, although that sucks too, not the people, although some of them suck also, but just the atmosphere. I walk around doing my normal routine and bam! The anxiety attacks, I can't breathe, it makes me feel sick to eat. I don't know if I can take it all at once... I just really feel like I shouldn't be here. I feel like I belong elsewhere. My head hurts, I might have a temperature, and I just don't know what to do. How can I be here feeling this way? Do I need a high dose of medication to help with the anxiety? I honestly don't know.

Last night I was in my mom's bed cry because of how scared I am of failing... Not only at school but in every other aspect too. I cried for the first time in day because I was scared. I wasn't depressed about something but the thought of losing everything to this scares me.

I don't really know what else to do, the only thing that takes my mind off of this is work. So at least I'm working tonight. It might do me some good to keep me occupied.

posted by Courtney @ 11:02 AM