Black holes and Revelations
It sucks how incomplete I feel... I don't want to see or talk to anyone that I don't have a good relationships with... I'm tired of stupid people and I'm tired of dealing with people that I feel really don't care.. I don't believe my mother anymore when she says she's sorry. I just can't I won't. I'm tired of being lied to. I don't want to talk to my therapist today, but alas my mother is making me. I feel like all people are doing is lying to me, except for a few friends. I can be civil but I don't want to hear lies.. I'm tired, I'm done, and I don't really give a shit about anything right now except those few people.
I don't like being grounded when what I was being punished for I've improved. I had to miss my prom, and whenever my mom says she's sorry that I had to miss it... she never sounds sorry... not once. The day she cried wasn't out of being sorry for me. It's because she was embarassed of me. I know grades matter but I don't know anyone who had three F's and got EVERYTHING a C or higher. Not a single D nor F.. and she's still not sorry.
I'm just fed up. I want to go back to North Point... It's the second youth group that I've actually felt a part of. Before they chose someone else over me... I know they didn't but it still felt that way. Now I just want a positive place.. Along with Beach Community, it's the only church I've really felt I belong. Idk, I just miss all my friends.
posted by Courtney @ 6:17 AM
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